Come on. You got to let me be "bad cop" this time.
Come on! I wanna be "bad cop" this time!
- Can I be "bad cop"? - You can be the bad cop!
Ow!
This is gonna be real easy, anyway.
Three sorority chicks.
Detective Sams, Detective Richards,
report to Interrogation Room 105.
I told you, this is gonna be real easy.
Tell me the search of the house
turned up something.
No murder weapons. No usable evidence.
Fuck.
Everything we have is circumstantial, boss.
Yeah.
Tell me something I don't know.
Ugh. How about everything?
Whatever.
So I'm sure by now that you're dying to know
what happened at the most gorgeous sorority on campus.
Fine. I'll show you.
But boys, keep your hands to yourselves.
How are you?
This is gonna be so great.
Wait. I wanna see your earrings.
All right, girls!
This is Omega Kappa!
Everybody shut up and get in line!
Oh, scoot!
You think you're O.K. material?
From now on, you need to shut up
and listen to me!
You got that?
You make me sick.
You're worthless.
What are you smiling at?
Psyched to have me back, baby?
Gets better every time.
How are you gonna make it up to me?
I thought we just made up.
That doesn't count.
That was just sex.
How about a Marc Jacobs purse?
How about the whole collection?
All of it?
Really?
I'll work on it.
You're the best boyfriend ever.
Comprende?
Oh, my God. That's Lana Stevens.
She's amazing.
Nina!
Oh, hi, Lana.
What were you doing down there?
Just cleaning.
I think I have some new voice mails.
Could you check them? Uh, yeah. Sure.
That's cute! I want one!
Oh! Uh, well, this looks better on you anyways.
Thanks.
Everything looks really nice.
What?
You're here!
Here's my girls!
How are you?
Mai, that sexy body of yours
is totally centerfold!
Mm-hmm!
Hey!
Zoey, you know you always look good.
True.
Are you girls ready to rush like hell?
Let's move, sisters.
You little brats, follow me now!
Move it!
Move it now! Go!
This way! Come on!
Move it! Move it!
Hurry up, you and your high heels!
Oh, Mrs. Bubbles!
Oh, you... eww, you're such a dork!
Eww. You smell.
Eww. Gross. Eww. Disgusting.
Disgusting. Not O.K. material!
Girls.
Mai, Zoey and I will be watching you guys closer
than a shoe sale at Fendi.
We're looking for your quick evaluation
hand signals.
So remember, if you hate her,
flash a one.
If you love her, flash a five.
And if you need further eval from me,
flash a fist.
Okay, let's assume formation, ladies.
What's your favorite color?
Light pink! Dark pink!
What's your favorite letters?
O.K.!
Put it all together!
Light pink! Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink! Dark pink!
O.K.!
Louder! Light pink! Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink! Dark pink!
O.K.!
Light pink! Dark pink! O.K.!
Come on.
Next stop, Delta Pi.
# I want I wanna know #
# We just met but, uh, let's jet #
# 'Cause, uh, we gonna let #
# Our inhibitions we'll forget #
# You gonna get wet, make it the best yet #
# I knew you wanna sweat and make a night you won't forget #
# Bet you'll be lovin' it #
# When I'm rubbin' it #
Well, last year,
we had our spring formal on a riverboat.
It was totally insane.
Wow. That sounds sick.
Way more than sick.
Our parties are off the hook.
I know. I heard that everybody on campus
knows that this is the "it" sorority.
Yeah, we are pretty legendary.
Mai totally knows what she's talking about.
She's the House Social Chair.
Her and her girls have been the talk of this house
for the last four years now.
You're way cute.
Thanks.
Way cute.
# I wanna get to know you like that #
# Holla at me and I'll holla right back #
# Talk dirty 'cause I like it like that #
# We just met... #
- Hey, Tina. - Hey, Lana!
So, Fanny here is a legacy.
I was a legacy, too, you know.
But not here.
My mom, aunt, and grandma were all in another house.
Isn't that against the sacred Greek rules?
No way, babe.
You have to go into the house
that you fit into the most.
Have you checked out E.W. E?
I heard they have weekly chess meetings.
Do you like chess?
I love it.
I, uh, actually placed first
in the National Scholastic Tournaments.
Also, they talk about really important things
like global warming.
Really.
Wow. Um...
So, you won't be offended if I...
check it out, will you?
Not even a little bit.
You're totally Ewe.
Thank you.
# Holla at me and I'll holla right back #
# Talk dirty 'cause I like it like that #
# We just met but, uh, let's chat #
# I wanna get to know you like that #
You have to meet Zoey, our Director of Recruitment.
Oh! Zoey!
This is Emily.
Oh. You look like you work out.
Yeah. I do Pilates twice a week.
Pilates?
That's so, like, last year.
- Is it? - Yeah.
I teach a Salsa Jam Kick-Boxing
Sculpt and Tone To The Max class at the campus gym.
You should totally check it out.
There's my baby girl!
You two know each other?
Emily is in my Voice For Performance class.
Oh.
Yeah. We practice our oohs and ahhs together.
Ooh! Ahh!
- Isn't she the cutest? - Yeah!
So you're gonna come to the rush party tomorrow night, aren't you?
No.
I think I'll be studying.
Oh. Duty calls.
Aloha, girls.
I'm Lana Stevens, President of Omega Kappa.
I want to thank you all
for coming to our house today.
We have an incredible group of women here
at the O.K. House.
It's not just about parties and meeting boys.
It's about the feeling I get when I come home
from a totally wretched day of classes,
and I plop down on the couch with my sisters.
It's so comfortable and love-filled.
And I feel blessed waking up
inside these walls every day.
Aww...
- Oh, my God. - That's so sweet.
I wish you all the best of luck during rush.
I know it's a really hard week,
but follow your hearts and you all will find a home.
Just like I did.
Thanks.
Right.
My sisters...
this is the most important decision
of each of our lives.
Now, who can say three words
about Megan Woods?
Funny. Spunky. Pretty.
Excellent.
But remember.
As much as we only want exceptional-looking people,
that can't be included in our O.K. descriptions.
Only words pertaining to their personalities
can be included in voting, according to our bylaws.
Got it?
Sorry, Lana.
Make that funny, spunky, and nice.
To look at.
That's better.
Now, everyone, pick up your paddles to vote.
Looks like majority vote. Total agreement.
- Eww! - Ugh.
Fanny Applebaum.
What a cow.
Right?
Zoey.
I think we can all say this one
is better suited elsewhere.
Better suited elsewhere.
My girl.
Emily Barton.
Emily is amazing.
Green for Emily!
Just one second, girls.
I agree that Emily
is perfect.
However, our recruitment team
discovered today that her GPA is pretty low.
And so I'm, like, totally afraid
that we might not be able to let her in.
Aww...
Unfortunately, what Zoey says is true.
She is a grade risk.
However, according to the rule book...
page 268, section 2, paragraph 5A...
if a legacy doesn't try to get in this quarter,
Emily can slide right in and take that spot.
You are such a genius, Lana.
Now let's take an official vote
on Ms. Barton.
Perfect.
Tomorrow, we're hosting our annual
Rush Till You Puke party.
Just make sure you're super-nice
to all the really cute girls.
For sure.
And one last thing.
If anything shady happens at this party,
Omega Kappa will be shut down
and kicked off campus.
Our lives will be over.
Zoey.
Meeting adjourned.
# I got one for my baby #
# Two for my mamma #
# Three for my peeps that go deep in Alabama #
# I got love for my roots, yeah #
# I got love for my roots #
Nina.
How could you let me get a B on this?
Oh. I'm so sorry.
It... It's just been such a hard week, with... you know, with rush,
- and getting everything organized, and... - Look.
I'm the one with big stuff to worry about.
Ugh. You let me down.
# Just blazin' hot tracks, gettin' laid on wax #
# Raisin' the bar like a bench press that elevates... #
I am so ready for rush week to end,
and to secure our girls.
- It's been so stressful. - I know.
I've only been able to work out, like, twice a day.
Oh, that's probably the keg!
Lana, I don't know who that is.
Don't worry. I'll get it.
Hi, girls!
I'm Catherine Whittington.
Omega Kappa, 1984!
O.K.!
Welcome, Miss Whittington.
I'm Lana Stevens, O.K. President.
Lana Stevens.
You are the spitting image of your mother.
Cindy was my big sister.
Oh, my God! I have to hug you.
Well, now it's time for you to meet my daughter.
Katie? Come in here and meet the girls!
Come on, Katie! Don't be shy.
Come meet your future sisters.
Ha ha!
This is Lana.
And, um...
Mai.
- Hi! Katie! Nice to meet you. - Hello.
- Hi! - Zoey.
Hi! Nice to meet you. Katie.
Too bad you weren't here for rush.
Oh, yeah, well, that was my fault.
You know, a little family reunion
in the Hamptons, you know.
But I am so excited to be here.
I have been doing research
on the Omega Kappa House all semester.
I even got a pink retainer! See?
Oh. You guys are O.K.
You're damn right.
Hey, you're friends with Rachel Winters, right?
- No. I don't... - Dykey Rachel Winters?
Yeah, she's my lab partner...
Katie, I'm talking.
Girls, how about we show Katie the wall of fame?
Katie is absolutely dying to see her mom
in her O.K. days.
Of course.
This way.
Don't you think I look exactly the same?
Yeah.
Do you think we should talk for a little bit?
Sure.
Hey, your mom's really cute.
Yeah.
Look, Lana.
I know my Katie doesn't really
fit the O.K. bill.
But I am counting on you,
as my big sister's daughter,
to make sure she becomes an Omega Kappa like us.
You don't think Katie would be better suited elsewhere?
Please. I invented that phrase.
When Katie becomes a sister,
she will blossom into a beautiful woman like me.
And you.
Mrs. Whittington, with all due respect,
you can't possibly think Katie would like it here.
I mean, she may be a sweet girl,
but some of the other girls may not take a liking to her...
You will take my Katie under your wing,
and you will make damn sure those other bitches...
sisters...
treat her right.
Because one phone call from me
to the Alumni Association,
and you will be out of this house.
- You wouldn't. - Try me.
See, I donate thousands to the house each year.
And your mother has never given a cent.
She never gave a shit about anyone but herself, the cheap bitch.
She even spent all day long in her fucking pajamas,
just like you.
So...
are you gonna do the right thing?
As a Kappa, you have my word.
You are as smart as you are pretty.
Thanks.
Bitch.
I like her hair.
Yeah, it's kinda like mine.
Yeah. Kind of.
Oh, do you girls still do
the Rush Till We Puke party?
Yes, we haven't missed a single year.
Well, I'll make sure Katie gets dropped off by 9:00.
Oh, great.
Well, we really should be going.
Oh, so soon?
Yes, have a little packing to do.
A weekend getaway to the Caribbean
with a new hubby.
Ooh, light pink
and dark pink.
We make the boys' hearts sink.
We're Omega Kappa
and we're better than you think!
We're O.K.! We're O.K.!
Bye!
Oh, my God. She'll eat all our food.
I know. I feel like I gained a pound
just standing next to her.
Have faith, girls.
- Hey, baby! - Hey, girl.
You still coming over for a little pre-pre-party?
You know it, baby.
Okay. See you later.
Love you!
Yeah.
Yo, James, I got to go over there and test the system out right now.
I want you to round up as many DVD burners as you can from the guys.
- And what for? - Dudes!
Will you please tell our young protegé here
what the DVD burners are for?
Aw, well, certainly, sir!
Genius here's been tapin' himself...
Doing the deed...
With his ultra-hottie girlfriend.
I go bang her,
bring the tapes back here.
Then he passes them to me,
we load them into the computer,
burn a few copies, and sell them...
For $15.99!
Bop, baby! Yeah!
And people buy them?
Dude. It's Lana Stevens.
She's, like, superfly,
and I got to get a piece of that.
No, mm-mm.
Sold them to a bunch of freshmen last week,
and seriously, tonight, we are going campus-wide.
Holy fuck!
That's brilliant!
- Yes. - You know what I'm saying?
- Whoo! - I got to go lick it and stick it,
and make some dough with the ho, baby.
James.
Oh! I love it, man!
Ah!
Yeah, that's my girl.
Tell me how good I am.
Jeff, you know I hate the talking stuff.
Just say it.
You're so good.
Say my name.
Jeff, Jeff, you're so big.
Oh! That's my girl.
Mm-hmm.
Ah!
Oh.
Mmm.
Jeff.
Mm-hmm?
You have to help me with the rushees tonight.
What can I do?
There's this awful legacy girl coming.
Katie.
You have to make her feel totally unwelcome.
I want to make her night a living hell.
What's that?
Baby, you are a goddess.
I would do anything for you.
Now, what were you saying?
I don't know, I forgot.
Wait, you're leaving?
I got to go.
Got to save some for later.
We're gonna be rich!
Oh! Oh!
All right, let's go say hi.
Hmm.
Let's move, sisters.
Yeah!
Hi!
Katie, I'm so glad you could make it.
I am so excited to be here.
This is, like, my first real college party.
That is, like, so cute.
I wanna see what's upstairs.
- I touched her. - Excuse me.
Um, excuse me, girls.
I've got to run upstairs for a bit.
For sure.
My mom was raving about this party all day.
She even told me to buy a new outfit.
Isn't it cute?
That outfit is so you.
This is Electric Blue. It's delicious.
Oh. Scusi,
I have to go see some of our other girls.
An O.K. president's job is never done.
Zoey here would be thrilled
to introduce you to some of our other sisters.
Right, Zoey?
Of course.
Enjoy yourself, pumpkin.
Thanks.
I need a drink.
I want you to meet my girl, Stevie.
She's totally all about being O.K., too.
Well, awesome. Welcome, Stevie.
If you are half as cool as Emmy says,
and I already know you're half,
I mean, totally, as cute...
then I'm sure you are going to love being an O.K.
O.K.!
Beer funnel, Emily!
Who wants to watch me funnel?
Do it, sister.
Hey, Matty.
Zoey. Hey, baby.
You're looking hot as always.
You're not so bad yourself.
What's that?
She's no one.
Four shots, please.
Ooh, what color?
Uh, whichever's the strongest.
Yeah!
I really like Prada purses,
but everyone has them now.
So I was gonna get a Gucci one,
but then the girl down the hall from me
had the one that I loved,
so I decided on this one.
It's L.V.
No one has it yet
because no one can afford it.
It's, like, totally gorgeous.
Yeah, I think Lana has that one.
Hmm.
Yeah, go, go!
Swallow! Aww.
Shit!
Damn!
Shit, that was a lot of beer.
Zoey, I never drank before in my life.
Well, for an O.K., it's a must.
Right everyone?
And for a newbie, it's double.
Oh, Emily, you're here!
Yeah, this is, like, the greatest party ever.
I know!
Oh!
Oh, Emily, this is Matty.
He's a Sig.
Pleasure to meet you.
Ooh. Hi, there.
- Oh. - My bad.
Oh, no, that's fine.
These things happen all the time.
So you guys wanna play a little Truth or Dare?
- Totally. - I want to go first.
Okay. Truth or dare?
You totally have to pick dare.
Good call. Dare.
I dare you to kiss me.
You know, kissing a sister is an automatic in.
I want an auto in, too.
Well, what about me?
You know, if you two kiss, it counts too.
You must be Katie.
I've been looking for you.
Emily here is also pledging.
Oh, hi, I'm so excited to meet you.
Mmm.
I heard you're, like, a guaranteed O.K.
Oh, well, you know,
I don't want to get in just because I'm a legacy.
I love the Omega Kappa House
and everything they stand for.
Let's grab a beer.
Oh, I'm okay.
My head feels kind of funny.
Nonsense, come on.
He's hot.
Okay, so I'm going to do the first one,
so you have to watch and learn.
And then you're going to do one,
and try and beat my time.
Oh, okay.
One...
Mai!
Eww, she's kind of butchy.
I, um... Excuse me, girls.
I got to run back inside, okay?
Let's go.
Excuse me.
You okay, girlie girl?
Just have to handle some business.
You handle it!
Holy shit, I rock!
Yeah!
Oh!
Is he fucking kidding me?
You're, like, on steroids.
This little piggy went to market.
Excuse me.
Like, what the fuck are you doing?
I d...
Nicole, here, is a rushee,
and she was just showing me how the, uh...
the... the new silicone,
it feels just like the real thing!
- Oh. - It's awesome.
Hey, what's going o...
What was that for?
Kissing those sluts.
It's rush, Rachel.
What's wrong, baby?
I'm just showing the girls here a good time.
I told you to make them feel welcome,
not to feel them up.
Girls, why don't you two go join Emily
and some of the other rushees over at the keg?
I need to speak with Jeff for a second.
What are you doing here?
I had to see you.
Sweetie, I told you not to come by the house,
especially not tonight.
I miss you. I haven't seen you at all this week.
I'm just being friendly.
I can't have you flirting with the rushees.
Do you know what that makes me look like?
The president of this house
and my boyfriend isn't being 100% loyal to me?
I told you I was going to be on lockdown in the house.
I can't do this anymore!
All right? I want to spend the end of my senior year with my girlfriend.
No more of this hiding shit.
You like my room?
Totally.
It's hot, like you.
Get over here. Come on.
You ready for this?
Why are you so damn insecure all the time, anyway?
I am not insecure,
and you should be a little more appreciative of the fact
that you're dating the most popular girl on this campus,
you little shit.
Why don't you get over yourself,
you itty-bitty titty committee?
I am so done with you right now.
Whatever.
Little pink bitch.
Mamacita.
You fucking kidding me?
No wait, just give me a couple seconds.
I'll be right back in the game, coach.
That worthless little dick of yours
couldn't stay hard for one fucking minute?
Hey, can you just... can you grab me a beer?
Go fuck yourself.
Give me the rainbow.
Rainbow? You okay, Mai?
Yeah. I'm good.
Jell-O wrestling time!
Woohoo!
Yeah!
I think you should go.
It would totally impress the other girls.
Really?
Completely.
- Have fun. - Okay.
Let me give you a hand, Katie.
Whoopsy! In you go!
Come on, Katie, show us what you got!
Get her, girls!
Woohoo!
Let's hear it for the geek!
Whoo! Take off her clothes, yeah!
So granny panties!
Ugh, that is so horrific.
Yeah!
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
- Go fat girl! Go fat girl! - Ow!
Go fat girl! Go fat girl!
Whoo!
Oh!
Lana, Jeff is looking for you.
He's, like, pissed or something.
Excuse me.
What do you want?
We need to talk, now!
- Busy. - No. Now!
I'm busy! I have a big event outside,
and I don't have time to deal with you.
Well, you're always too busy for me.
Oh, here we go.
All you care about is your sorority.
That's all you talk about,
how great your sorority is.
How you're the greatest sorority president,
how your pledge class is going to be so wonderful,
blah, blah, blah!
Oh, belette!
I am not having this discussion with you right now.
Well, you'd better have it now, or I'm out of here.
Fine, go!
Do I look like I care?
- Fine! - Fine!
- We're over! - So over!
Hmph.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Sorry.
Whoo!
Ooh.
I can't believe this girl.
Yeah, she, like, might get in here or something.
I will so not be
in the same pledge class as her.
Girls, girls.
I can guarantee that she won't get in.
Okay.
Looks like someone's had a little too much fun.
Get out. Come on.
Let her go, girls.
Oh, God. Ugh.
Move, move.
Scoot. Move.
Fat girl coming through.
Yeah, I'm coming through!
Okay, put your arms through.
Come on.
Hey, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Nasty little shoes.
Okay, now you just stay in here
until I come back and get you.
And try to sober up.
You're a disaster.
Where's the other one?
It's too bad you had such a terrible night.
Guess you won't want to join now.
Are you kidding?
It was so much fun!
This was, like, the best night of my life.
I love Omega Kappa!
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
- Awesome. - Ugh!
This is God's great invention...
the doughnut.
Mm-hmm. Delicious.
This is good eatin', man.
Know what I'm saying?
What's up for tonight, man?
Well, I figure we'll go over to Omega Kappa,
check on those girls.
Make sure they're behaving themselves.
That's not funny, man.
Alcohol abuse is a chronic problem
on college campuses these days.
You got a point.
As the order keepers of this campus,
their safety is our first priority.
And because alcohol is such a problem,
we will have to go into the house,
confiscate the booze for their own protection.
That's right, man.
Mm-hmm. For their own protection.
That's good, man, that's good.
- Give me this. - What you... Hey...
- That's mine. - What... How...
You're a bully, dude.
Yeah.
I'm a bully.
You're an idiot.
- Nina. - Everything okay in there?
Everything's fine.
Go get Mai and Zoey now.
Okay, sure.
Zoey, Lana needs you in her room immediately.
Thank God. Get in here now.
Oh, shit!
Mai?
Oh, Mai, hi.
Lana needs you in her room right away.
Look at this.
Security is coming!
Clear out the house then!
Now!
Shit.
Everyone out, get out, get out.
Out, now! Out!
What are we going to do?
We hide the body.
I'm not touching those fat rolls.
I am not letting my house get shut down
because of some geeky, fat-ass freshman.
Now, pick her up.
- Everybody, stop where you are! - Freeze! Freeze!
Hey, where you going? Hey, you can't...
Get the hell off me!
Hey, give me some of that!
Where you going?
- Shit! - Door's open.
Oh, shit, you dropped her!
What? You dropped her!
Come on.
Ugh.
No, not downstairs!
That's the first place they look.
Ow.
Come on.
Ooh.
Here.
Are you sure she's gonna fit in here?
I don't know, just help.
I knew she would empty our fridge,
I just didn't expect it to be this way.
Somebody help me with the tray.
All right, here.
Okay.
She is too big.
No, she'll fit! Just shove her in there.
I got it.
Forget it, we don't have any time.
Stuff her in the closet.
- Ha ha. - What the hell is that?
S.W.A.T. tactics.
One, two...
Get off me, you pervert!
- Get off me. - What?
Get off me, man.
- You all right? - You okay?
Yeah, that's just a little bigger ram than I'm used to.
Now that,
I can't believe.
I'm Lana Stevens, O.K. President.
- O.K.! - What can I do for you officers?
Well, look here.
I'm Officer Jaul,
this is Officer Santocki,
and we're here to, uh, break up this party.
Well, it looks like you officers
did an excellent job.
Oh.
Yeah, I guess we did.
We broke it up.
So, uh, look, I think we can, um...
You know, it's all clear.
We can let you off
with a little warning there, Miss Stevens. Huh?
- Okay. - You like that, don't you?
Mm-hmm.
What do we have here? Huh?
Looks like I'm going to have to confiscate this.
Oh...
those crazy frat boys probably brought that in.
- Really? - Yeah.
I thought you said everybody was gone.
Wait.
Hello, ladies.
You girls are in major trouble.
Move.
What? No cold beer?
We do not keep alcohol in this house, officer.
It's against policy.
Ha, ha, yeah.
No alcohol, huh?
What's that?
Hmm?
Move, girls.
Move!
Move.
What the fuck?
See? Told you no alcohol.
We got a homicide at the Omega Kappa House.
So now you know how we ended up here.
Pretty lame, isn't it?
This police station thing
is just a big waste of our valuable time.
Besides, the O.K. sisters are perfectly capable
of keeping their own house in order.
Ooh, hoo, hoo.
I guess you're doing the whole "bad cop" thing.
I'm Detective Richards.
This is Detective Sams.
- Zoey Martin. - Mm-hmm.
Got some bad news for you.
They cancelled my 7:00 Sweat It Out nude cycling class?
That's cute,
but if I was in your situation,
I would not be cracking jokes right now.
I'm serious.
So am I.
And you have much, much, much, much,
much bigger problems to worry about.
Why?
It's not like I did anything.
Not according to your Omega Kappa sisters,
Mai and Lana.
Your sisters came clean,
and named you the killer in under two minutes.
That's like a new record. Right, Sams?
So much for sister loyalty.
Oh, God, they know.
Know what?
That I'm bi.
Bi who? Bi what?
Lingual.
Nothing. I did not kill that Katie girl.
So you're saying you didn't do anything?
I didn't even remotely do it.
And I can tell you exactly where I was for the entire night.
Well, start talking.
Well, Katie got there way too early,
and I still hadn't made my rounds.
So I asked Zoey to make sure she had a good time.
Zoey here would be thrilled to introduce you
to some of our other sisters.
Right, Zoey?
I assumed she was in good hands.
This is, like, my first real college party.
Enjoy yourself, pumpkin.
I only saw Katie for a minute when she got there.
I had to run upstairs to meet up
with some other girls.
I'll catch you later, Katie.
For sure.
You're looking at a first-degree murder rap.
So what you really need to start asking yourself is,
do you want to spend the rest of your pretty young life behind bars?
Or are you going to fry?
Ehnn!
Why?
Because that backstabber said that it was me?
Let me ask you a question, little lady.
You ever had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
with no peanut butter?
Mm-mm.
Backstabber, you said backstabber.
Who?
Lana.
Ooh, she was so concerned
that that legacy was going to get in.
According to witnesses,
Katie Whittington arrived at 2100 hours.
For you low-life civilians, that's 9 P. M.
You might want to start there.
I wanted to show Katie a good time.
I need a drink.
So I decided to take her around to meet some people.
- Oh, hey, baby. - This is Matty.
I'm really excited to meet you.
We know you didn't want Katie in your house.
And we know about your little plan.
What plan?
Make sure Katie has the worst night of her life.
We have to make her look dumb,
feel dumb, and act dumb.
Anything to keep her from joining.
Anything?
Anything.
God, I love us.
Totes.
Your two little sidekicks told us everything.
Everything.
I don't believe you.
Zoey told us you wanted Emily in,
and Katie was in your way.
What an ungrateful bitch!
So you're saying you didn't do anything?
I told Emily that I absolutely love her,
and I'm dying for her to be a sister.
There's this really geeky girl named Katie here tonight.
She's a really important legacy,
and I'm scared because of her grades
that she might take your spot.
Are you kidding me?
She's, like, the cutest little version of me ever.
Which one is she?
Oh.
Done deal.
Where was Katie?
I believe I saw Katie taking shots with Zoey.
I told her
that she did not have to do it if she didn't want to.
But she just picked them right up and went for it.
You're not done.
It was shocking.
We O.K. s do not condone underage drinking.
Let's grab a beer.
Where did they go, Zoey?
How should I know?
She was making new friends.
New friends?
So how... how friendly did they get?
Anyway, the next thing I knew...
Your turn.
Oh! Okay.
One, two...
So you left Katie upside-down?
Yeah.
But she looked like she was having a blast.
Whoa!
Ow.
Oops, I slipped.
Is your head okay?
I saw Katie come outside
when I was talking to my friend.
She looked in bad shape and pretty drunk.
I think she even threw up.
Oh, hey, Rachel.
I knew it!
So anyway, I went over to see if she was okay.
Go home, I'll call you later. We'll talk about this.
Look here.
Nobody knows anything about me and Rachel.
Why? There's nothing wrong with love.
Shut your mouth!
You shouldn't be at this party anyway.
If it wasn't for your mother, you wouldn't even be here.
I know, but I thought maybe...
Don't think anything!
If you ever say the name Rachel and Mai
in the same sentence again,
I'll fucking kill you, got it?
Yes.
So I finished explaining to her
she probably had too much to drink,
and she shouldn't be hanging outside.
She really should be inside mingling
if she wanted to make friends.
A fat girl was murdered.
Really fat girl.
Hello! Interrupting?
The next time that Katie came up to me,
was when Chris and I were discussing
exercise techniques.
Yeah!
Zoey, can I talk...
Uh, I got to go.
Wait!
What about me?
Katie, honey, your lips look a little dry.
Try this.
Oh. Thanks.
Oh. Tastes like a postage stamp.
It's the new extra protein kind.
Oh.
Um, Zoey?
Um, I'm beginning to think that
some of the girls don't like me very much,
and I need some advice from my big sister.
What?
My mom said that you would probably end up being my big sister.
And I could really use my big sister right now.
Why would I be your big sister,
you fat, dorky little geek?
Zoey, that was really nasty of you to say.
I don't mean to be ugly,
I just wasn't born pretty like you.
You think that I was born this way?
This body takes a lot of work.
Do you know how many times that I had to binge and purge,
and how much time I have spent at the gym?
You fat people are all the same.
Too lazy to get up off your ass
and do something about it.
I despise people like you.
But I thought you really liked me.
You thought wrong.
Lana, I'm done with her. You take care of it.
And what's the next thing you remember?
I was a little worried that she might have had
too much to drink already.
It looked like she'd been drinking
since before she'd even gotten there.
Come on, Chris.
Don't cry.
You look like you could use a drink.
Oh.
I think I'm okay.
I think I should go home.
And then she insisted she wanted to take shots.
So I turned my head.
Nina!
Four blue ones.
Oh, Lana, I don't think I can drink anymore.
All O.K. sisters can party.
I know your mom could party.
Too fast.
Jell-O wrestling time!
- Jell-O wrestling? - Yes.
It's something that I personally came up with
at last year's party as a welcoming event for the rushees.
They absolutely love it.
Is it... Is it real Jell-O?
Of course.
Does it really matter?
And your mother must be real proud of you.
Oh, she is.
So you took Katie
to the Jell-O wrestling ring, huh?
It's not to be missed.
Ugh!
Woohoo!
Man, you girls are brutal.
It was fine.
Plus, the crowd was really into it, too.
It was...
It was pretty funny.
Katie looked like she was having a little too much fun.
So we were all just having a blast,
watching the wrestling...
And then Lana, like,
dragged her out of the ring and back into the house.
She was, like, really, really drunk...
Which reflects poorly on us.
So that's when you got Katie away from Lana,
and you brutally killed her!
Is he for real?
And that's when you decided to kill her!
Didn't you?
He's kidding, right?
So you took Katie in your room.
Yes.
Like I said, so she could sober up.
Ah!
So they went upstairs.
I'm not sure,
because right then,
Chris and James asked me
if they could go up to my room to talk.
Both of them?
Yeah. We're all friends.
Mm-hmm, you're all friends.
Mmm.
So where'd you go after you left Katie?
I walked outside to go to the backyard to hang out.
What's wrong, Mai?
Nothing.
I'll be fine after this drink.
That convo was over pretty quick.
Too drunk to get it up?
Yeah, you're going to have to leave.
You, too. Get out.
Get out!
Hey, drunky, out!
Boys don't really have much to say anyway.
Get the hell out.
So where'd you go after that?
I went back up to my room to check...
To kill Katie,
so your precious little Emily could be in O.K.
For Christ's sake, I went back up to my room
to check on her!
- Lana! - Hi!
Katie and the Jell-O, totally hilarious.
She must feel like an idiot.
Yeah, I know. Hey, have you seen Zo?
No, haven't seen her.
Hmm.
Then, when I got up to my room,
it was the strangest thing... my door was open.
When I saw she wasn't on the bed, I was hurt,
because I thought she'd left and hadn't even told me bye.
Hey, drunky.
Get out.
Get out of my room.
Get out!
So that's when you saw the body.
Yup.
That's all, folks.
That's not all, folks.
I want to clarify one thing.
Sh-Shoot.
After you left the Jell-O wrestling ring,
you said you went back inside when Nina came to find you.
That... That's what I said.
So what were you doing up to the point
when she did find you?
Just... Just chilling.
Just chilling?
So no one can actually vouch for your whereabouts
during the time of the murder.
Well, no...
And you moved the body.
- See, she killed... - Stop.
l...
I-I thought it was Lana.
Well, her or Zoey.
Lana told us to move the body,
and Zoey didn't argue,
so I just played along.
I-I just didn't want to see either of them
get in trouble.
You know?
Don't go anywhere. We'll be back.
- You ever had hot apple pie... - Let's go, Sams.
I went into Lana's room,
and that's when I saw Katie there, dead.
We heard the cops were coming,
so that's when we had to hide the body.
Wait, you moved the body?
Mm-hmm.
That's obstruction of justice.
Well, Lana said the O.K. House
would be shut down if anyone found her.
Don't you move
a pretty false eyelash, little lady.
You're in deep trouble.
Deep.
Hey, could I get, like, a magazine or something?
When I saw it was Katie, I was totally devastated.
I didn't even know what to do.
What a performance.
Yeah, okay, and who are you?
I ask the questions.
Outside.
Jesus.
Close to what?
Solving the case.
You're a couple of first-class
USDA homogenized fucking idiots!
I don't even know what "homogenize" is.
It's a milk!
Shut up.
You call that an interrogation?
"I'm just trying to find out
if you killed her."
That's not how I said it.
I said it like that.
Goes inside the other pocket.
Fucking piece of shit. The button's broken.
Okay, I'll fix that for you, sir.
You know how important this case is to this town?
This is an important case.
That's how important it is.
Something funny?
Maybe you'd like to share with me what is so funny,
because we got a killer in here.
So if there's something funny about a killer,
then maybe you want to tell me right now.
It's nothing...
Because I don't think there's anything funny about killing.
That's why I became a cop!
- I wasn't laughing. - To stop killers!
Is there anything funny about that?
I was that cl...
We got a killer in there!
We got a fucking killer in there.
Do we want to let another killer walk free?
No.
Are we going to let another killer walk free?
- No. - No.
Is that a killer in there?
- Yes. - Yeah.
Are we going to let that killer walk free?
- No. - No.
Sometimes you young cops...
I just see you guys coming in here
and just fucking walking in like you think
you're fucking Starsky and fucking Hutch!
This ain't a fucking joke.
Somebody's dead!
A girl is fucking dead!
And you fucking blew it!
You blew it like a couple of fucking idiots!
What...
I swear to fucking God,
if you ever interrogate anyone like that again...
But I was th... I was...
What did you say?
I was just that close.
You want to see me blow my fucking head off?
Huh?
You wanna to see it? You wanna see it?
Huh? I can tell you do.
You wanna see me blow my fucking head right off.
Don't do it.
You make me want to blow my fucking head right off!
Right the fuck off!
Why don't you do a job you can handle?
So, am I done here, or what?
Silence!
You found a dead girl in your room.
Your friends arrived rather quickly.
How?
Well, Nina... she's like our little
super-helper girl in the house...
tried to pop her little head in.
- Nina. - Is everything okay in there?
Everything's fine.
And you weren't afraid she was gonna see the body?
I didn't let her open the door.
So you hid it.
No!
I didn't want to create total chaos in our house.
Just go get Mai and Zoey now.
This is not happening.
So I sent her downstairs,
and I told her to bring Mai and Zoey up right away.
Nina's super-dependable like that.
So you felt that your best option
during this situation was to move the body.
I know it was kind of dumb.
Hand me that.
And I'm sad, too.
Perfect.
But all I could think about was that
our house was gonna get shut down.
Thank you, Miss Stevens.
That's all I needed to know.
He's good.
The best.
You have all the hallmarks
of a self-involved sociopath,
with no care for anything but yourself or your own image.
A girl has died!
In your room.
Look, Mr. Detective,
this may not have been one of my best decisions,
but if I'm right, like I always am,
you technically didn't put me under arrest,
so I can leave whenever I want to,
and I want to leave, now.
You're a fucking bitch.
We're gonna have to let them go.
What?
The only way we're gonna find out the truth
is if we stay on them until they crack.
Have Wacky Webb and Psycho Suhart
go over to Omega Kappa,
keep a close eye on these girls.
You got it.
We're gonna release you for now,
but it's just a matter of time
until we get enough evidence to convict.
And when we do, it's the chair.
For all of you.
Just know we're gonna be watching your every move.
Every pajama party, every hot shower.
You're not even gonna be able to take a shit.
You're sick.
Don't get too comfortable, ladies.
This is far, far from over.
How dare you bitches rat me out.
Whatever happened to sisterhood and loyalty?
What? Both of you cunts named me as the killer.
What's up with that?
You disgust me!
What... You used to be my friend.
And you should be ashamed of yourself.
You used to be my best friend.
Oh, F-off, Zoey.
You're the one that should be ashamed.
You know I didn't kill anyone.
Oh, actually, I don't know if you know that
because you're off chasing dick all night.
Right, Hoey Zoey?
Aah!
- Oh! - Unh!
You would still be a fat-ass closet eater if it wasn't for me.
You're the one who can't kick the diet pills, bitch!
Hey, maybe your friendship is as fake as your boobs, Lana.
They're real, and you know it.
Sorry you're just jealous 'cause you got tiny titties.
- Right, Mai? - Fuck you!
You're such a screwy bitch, Mai.
A bitch or a slut? Which would I rather be?
Hmm. How many guys was it last night?
Or did you lose count again?
Hey, enough! This is not helping.
Ow!
Back off, Zoey!
Stop!
Oh. Now just get your ass off me.
So let's think about this.
Those detectives all told us the same thing.
They tried to turn us on each other to nail us.
And we fell for it.
We're so lame.
Totes.
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Really?
Please, come on. Do this with me.
Come on, Mai. That's an order.
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Light pink and dark pink,
we make the boys' hearts sink.
Apologies, girls.
I'm so sorry I even thought for two seconds
you guys would turn on me.
Same goes here.
And, Mai, so sorry about that nasty bitch remark.
Triple.
And, Zoey, totally ashamed by that slut reference.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
Excellent mea culpas, girls.
The only way we're gonna get through this
is if we work together in our sisterhood.
Now, those fine officers are not gonna leave O.K. alone
until we totally hand over a killer.
Ew.
So, come on. Let's think.
It certainly wasn't one of us.
Ugh, those stupid cops.
Like I would ever get any blood on my Michael Kors shoes.
Who else would care about killing
some loser legacy besides us?
Well, she was really fat. Blut.
Yeah, she was.
Yeah, but still, guys.
Hey, girlies.
Nice to see you back all... unchained.
Well, hello, asshole.
You didn't even answer my call.
I used my only one on you.
I'm sorry, I was sleeping.
Lana, can we go in your room and talk
just a little, quick bit?
Please?
I'm so sure he just wants to talk, right?
Shut up, slut.
That should be over quick.
Like...
I wanna get back together with you.
Again.
Screw you, Jeff.
I'm pissed.
You blew me off last night, then you don't answer my call.
You don't even give a shit about the trouble I'm in.
Baby, I'm sorry.
I owe you an apology for the party.
I acted like a stupid frat guy,
but... you know I don't mean it.
Besides, who cares how that geeky legacy died anyway?
It's not like you wanted her in the house.
That's not the point.
Jeff, stop. I'm not in the mood.
Baby.
Come on.
You know that's my weak spot.
Are you okay?
Oh, just... a little cramp.
Yeah, we're good.
Just... Whew.
What are you doing?
Tension.
I'm good.
Um... shit.
I forgot to tell James to TiVo the Miami game.
So call him.
- You can use my cell phone. - No, I gotta go.
I got a lot of money riding on that game, baby.
Mwah!
Now?
Mwah.
Oh.
My brain hurts.
Yeah, all this thinking is really bumming me out.
Stop complaining, girls.
We really have to step up to the plate on this one.
Our names cannot be tarnished.
Okay, you're right.
Hey, who wants to do an O.K. chant
to get us in the mood?
Oh, saved by the freshman.
- Hi. - Hey.
I stopped by earlier, but no one was here.
I've been so worried about you girls, you poor things.
Emmie, it's so good to see you.
I baked them myself.
Okay, you got me. Stevie helped.
Well, if there's anything I can do to cheer you guys up,
just let me know.
Where are all the O.K. sisters?
Oh, it's community service day.
Oh, cool.
Um, my timing in asking this may not be the best,
but now that Katie's gone,
I'm a shoo-in, right?
Right.
Wow, that's, like, the best news I've heard all night.
Or is it day now?
Shit, I'm so confused.
Me, too.
Wait a minute.
Now that I think about it,
there's something you could help us with.
Anything.
You were at the party
all night last night, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
You don't remember anything remotely weird?
I really don't remember much.
I was pretty trashed.
It was only last night, Emily.
Just think.
Okay. I'm gonna try real hard and remember.
Heh. Now that I think about it,
and don't get mad at me for saying this, Lana,
but Jeff was acting kind of weird last night.
I could be wrong, but he was, like, hitting on me.
Yeah. I hate to admit it,
but I totally busted him flirting with these two dumpy skanks.
Jeff is such a sleazebag sometimes.
I cannot believe you tolerate his shit.
There's something about him, though.
Yeah, he's, like, totally crazy about you.
Crazy enough to kill someone for you?
You're a goddess, baby.
I would do anything for you.
Okay, wait.
Now that I think about it,
Jeff has been acting really weird.
What do you mean by "weird"?
Okay, he is always weird.
No. Like, this whole last week,
every time we've had sex, he's been making these, like, strange faces,
and then he just rushes off right afterwards.
That's normal.
No.
Oh, wait. Wait.
How does that make him the killer?
Well, I don't know, but... I mean,
it definitely shows a change in his sexual behavior pattern.
Last time I saw him at the party,
he made this crazy, weird face like this.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
I saw Jeff walking out of your room last night
with that same look on his face.
- My room? - Mm-hmm.
Emily, that's the kind of information
we needed, like, five minutes ago.
Holy shit. It was Jeff!
You guys, no, no, no, no.
This is crazy.
My own boyfriend the killer?
I don't know.
Damn, baby!
You look amazing.
I thought you'd like it.
Can we talk for, like, one second, though?
There's just something I've been meaning to tell you.
What's that?
I think I'm in love with you.
Wow, Jeff.
I'm serious.
I think I see a future with you.
I know. Crazy, right?
I don't know what to say.
What's wrong?
I thought this was what you've been wanting to hear.
I have been, it's just...
I guess I'm still a little freaked out
about finding a dead body in my room, you know?
Lana, just...
tell me what I can do to make you happy again.
Take that!
What the... Ow!
Guys! Ow!
Jam the bra in his mouth.
Make sure it's on there real good.
Don't be afraid to hurt him.
Now start talking.
We know you killed Katie.
Record this.
I saw you walk out of Lana's room last night, Jeff.
Yeah.
Right after you got in a fight with Lana.
Right, Emily?
Tell us the truth, Jeffrey.
Take the bra out of his mouth.
Ow! God!
Damn crazy bitches!
Yeah, I do have something to confess, but...
I knew it!
It's not what you think.
I had nothing to do with the murder.
Nothing?
Hell, no!
I knew my baby boy wasn't a killer.
Well, I do kind of have this little camera
that videotapes us having sex.
- What? - Ow!
How else am I supposed to provide the lifestyle
- that you're used to? - Who's seen this?
So, wait. Jeff's not the killer?
Not now, Zoey.
Sorry.
Some freshmen.
- What? - Ow!
Freshmen? I could kill you.
Wait. Solve murder and then kill boyfriend, okay?
- Right. - Jeff's not a killer,
just a sleazebag money-hungry pervert.
That's fair.
Wait, are you saying you have this camera rolling all the time?
Most of the time.
Well, what about last night at the party?
Oh, yeah, it was on.
I tried to get at it last night,
but that girl Katie was in here
all covered in vomit, and I just bailed.
The tape from last night, where is it?
Oh, it's over there behind your bed in Bubble's mouth.
Look, stay here until I come back and get you.
And try to sober up. You're a disaster.
Look, it's too bad you had such a terrible night.
You probably won't want to join now.
Are you kidding?
This was so much fun.
This was, like, the best night of my life.
I love Omega Kappa!
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
Awesome.
Emily, what are you doing?
Oh, my God.
Why are you guys looking at me like that?
You're really freaking me out.
Emily, how could you do this to us?
You guys are nuts! Leave me alone.
Mai! Somebody, go get her!
- Out of the way! - Ow!
Get me out of these cuffs!
Well, I gotta go find the keys.
Ow!
Emily!
Emily, we just want to talk!
Stupid... bitches!
You guys are crazy! I didn't kill Katie!
We don't want to hurt you.
We just need you to talk to the detectives.
Everything is gonna be okay, Emily.
- Leave me alone! - Oh, my God!
Hurry up!
Get up! Let's go! Let's go!
Get out the house!
Coming!
Found them. Sorry.
Hurry.
I'm trying.
All right. You guard the tape.
I'm gonna go get the power turned back on.
Wait, you're leaving me by myself?
Yes!
Follow the girls.
They just took off running north towards main street.
What the hell?
Ha ha, yeah! Come on, T.O.
Catch the ball, baby.
Stop bellyachin', man.
Jaul, Santocki, wake up.
Touchdown!
All right, calm down. Okay, calm down.
Calm down. What do I do? What do I do?
- What do I do? - The killer's in the house!
- The killer's in the house!
Not my sweet Emily.
Oh.
Hi.
This is for your own good.
No!
Shh.
Nina?
Need something, Lana?
No, I was just... I was gonna go to the bathroom.
I was a legacy, too, Lana.
- Remember? - Yeah.
When I joined this house, I thought,
"Wow, this is my chance to change
and become cool."
I lost weight, bought new clothes,
but none of that mattered because you all still saw me
as the legacy geek who slid her way into this house.
You started giving me chores and making me do your schoolwork.
Look, just put the knife down, Nina.
We can talk about this.
Oh, no, there's nothing to talk about.
You and everyone here hates me.
That's not true.
We love you.
You're okay.
Oh, you are the biggest manipulative bitch
I have ever met.
Now, you listen to me.
I wanted Katie to leave this house,
but you wouldn't let her
because she was having too much fun.
You listen.
When I thought about what Katie was gonna
have to put up with for the next four years,
I had to save her.
From you and your selfish,
awful, evil friends.
Look, I'm sorry, Nina.
I didn't know you felt that way.
But it's really not any easier being me.
I'm so sick of being perfect all the time.
For once I wish I could just eat whatever I wanted to,
or wear my glasses instead of my contacts,
or not bleach my fucking hair every three weeks.
Do you think I really enjoy this life?
For once, I just wish I could be normal.
Like you, Nina.
But in my world, or my mother's world,
that's just not an option.
Well, then I guess I'll be doing you a favor, too.
Nina! Stop!
Ow! Stop hitting me!
Ow!
Get off of me! Get off of me!
No, leave me alone!
- Oh, my gosh. - What's going on?
Lana?
Aw, yeah.
Aw, man.
I had her, you know.
Yeah, baby, I know.
I'm so glad you guys got here...
Okay, ma'am, you ran out of the house?
Yeah.
You got her, Lana. Good job.
I'm really sorry about the tapes, Lana.
It's gonna take a lot to make it up to me.
I know.
And next time, I want half the profits.
Got it, partner.
Has it already been three years?
Wow. Okay, updates.
Emily's now O.K. 's president,
following in my fabulous footsteps,
Zoey grew out of her sex addiction
and stopped worrying about her figure, obviously.
And Mai?
Mai's engaged,
and she'll make a gorgeous bride.
Or will Rachel be the bride?
It doesn't matter.
The gay marriage debate just got much better looking.
That is, like, so great.
Lana Stevens.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
I bet you're wondering about me and Jeff.
Well, let's just say our extra-curricular activities
turned into a very profitable business.
For both of us.
Well, time for all of you to run along.
We O.K. s have a lot of catching up to do.
Oh, my God. Zoey is so out of shape.
Ugh, and Mai a lesbian? So embarrassing.
Did you see that jacket that Lana was wearing?
You know, I wonder what ever happened to Nina.
- I'm O.K. - Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
- I'm O. K.
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K. - I'm O...
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
That's my favorite color.
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K. - O.K. O. K.
Light pink... Louder!
- Light pink, dark pink, O. K. - O. K.
Sinc by Barel
# Come down, no hanging around #
# Slow down, be ready to sit down #
# Run down, we're bringing you to town #
# It's your time, ready to rush, oh, yeah #
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
# Going down, your body is sound #
# You run around, chasing the scene down #
# Got down, bringing the scene to town #
# But you're just a dirty slut, oh, yeah #
# Oh, yeah #
# Oh, oh, oh #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You think that you're a legacy #
# But they'll be kicking you out the door #
# You come around and dirty the town #
# You're such a clown, always looking down #
# Your fake smile and shiny teeth #
# Your personality can't be beat, oh, yeah #
Light pink, dark pink, O. K.
# It wouldn't take much to make you mind #
# Something fraternities exploitin' all the time #
# Your education's on your back #
# Sorority girl #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now, you're not O.K. now #
# You're not O.K. now #
# You think that you're a legacy #
# But they'll be kicking you out the door #